


Johnny Boy

by 2000junk



Category: GOT7
Genre: Cheating, Johnny Boy, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, twenty one pilots song fic, well kind of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-21
Updated: 2016-07-28
Packaged: 2018-07-16 11:28:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7266313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/2000junk/pseuds/2000junk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Before meeting a gorgeous blonde dressed up as Thor at a bar on friday the 13th Mark hadn't lied to his boyfriend or about having a boyfriend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Whole World Looks Down And Frowns

Mark Tuan had been with his boyfriend, Youngjae, for over 3 years. They were really cute and they always managed to make it seem like they were two teens who had dated for a month when in reality they were adults. They lived together and they made time for each other. They laid in bed for hours during the weekends, they were there for each other always.   
Youngjae never lies to Mark. Mark never lies to Youngjae. They love each other.. Well. Mark never lied to Youngjae before. 

 

It was a friday night, friday the 13th to be exact. A bar near Mark's bestfriend's, Jinyoung's flat held this halloween themed night, the drinks were cheap and people dressed up. Jinyoung had invited all of his friends to come drink with him, including Mark and his boyfriend but Mark was the only one who thought that it would be great to have a halloween in the middle of March. Youngjae said that he would have come but since you couldn't get into the bar if you weren't all dressed up in some silly costume he decided to go hang out with Bambam and Yugyeom.   
The three were best friends and they liked to drink together and play videogames on Bambam's PlayStation 4 and everytime Youngjae would go to Bam's place he just ended up staying the night. This night was no different. 

 

Mark never lied to Youngjae nor did he lie about Youngjae but for some reason after a few drinks when a gorgeous blonde man in a Thor costume came to talk to him Mark just forgot the three years he had spent with the man.   
By the time The Thor had come talk to Mark his bestfriend had left with some guy who was dressed up as Nick Fury. The Thor turned out to be a Chinese guy who was a year younger that Mark. He had introduced himself as Wang Jiaer but just few minutes deeper into the conversation it turned out that the boy used Jackson most of the time. 

Jackson Wang was definitely interesting, kind of wild and definitely sexy. The guy really had no boundaries nor did he ever run out of things to talk about. He had mentioned how what people drink tells a lot about them as people. Mark had gotten curious and the younger had used him as his example. Mark who was drinking Savagnin Blanc, white wine, was apparently trying to appear at least a bit more classier than he really was to impress someone. And of course, Jackson had just blatantly said he assumed that the one Mark was trying to impress was him. Mark had laughed at the man because how was an adult dressed up as spiderman drinking white wine at a bar filled with people dressed up as superheroes and anime characters supposed to impress anyone. Jackson had said he was impressed and smirked.   
This was when Mark should have mentioned that he has a boyfriend. He didn't.   
"Can I order you a drink?" Jackson had asked and Mark had thought why not. See, he assumed he was getting a beer or a shot, maybe some basic cocktail like Sex On The Beach or a Pina Colada so when in a few minutes two lime green drinks appeared in front of the two men he was to say the least, really surprised.   
"It's not on the list. See Namjoon, the bartender is a good friend of mine so he makes me my favourite drinks even though they're not on the menu." Jackson had explained.   
The two boys had continued their conversation about life, themselves, music and pretty much everything you could imagine, except that Mark didn't mention Youngjae once. He didn't think of the boy he was supposed to love once during that night. 

"What's the drink called? It's really good." Mark had asked.   
"Mountain Dew Me." Jackson had answered nonchalantly and smirked. Mark had laughed his bright laugh and asked if that ever worked.   
"It did just now." Jackson had said and moved closer to Mark. He could feel Jackson's breath on the tender skin of his lips for a while before the younger closed the space. And that was when Mark knew he had found the one. 

Jackson had been amazing that night in Mark's and Youngjae's bed. Mark had never felt as good as he felt with Jackson. Lying there on his boyfriend's side of the bed while the blonde boy drew random chinese words on his back.   
"I know you have a boyfriend." Jackson had said quietly. Mark had just nodded but not because of quilt he felt but because he didn't want the moment they just had to ever end.   
"When is he coming home?"   
"Tomorrow. Most likely after 12 am." Mark had sighed.   
"Can I stay the night?"   
"Of course. As long as you leave before he comes."   
"Thanks." They fell asleep like that, Mark in Jackson arms which felt more like home than Youngjae had ever felt. 

The next morning had been a bit hectic. They had woken up after 11 am. Jackson had dressed up really fast and before Mark was out of the shower the blonde was gone.   
Mark had been sipping his morning coffee in his loose grey shirt and a pair of black boxers after changing the sheets in his and his boyfriends bed when he had seen the small note sticked to his fridge door.   
"不要让这成为它。Don't let this be it." The note was signed with "GaGa" and next to that was a phone number. Mark had smiled, he remembered from last night how Jackson had told that his childhood nickname was GaGa and that's when Youngjae rushed inside rambling about a really hot blonde guy in front of their apartment building. He was sure the guy had been their neighbour Heo Youngji's quest. That wasn't the last time Youngjae assumed that the gorgeous blonde coming from their apartment building was Youngji's new boyfriend. 

 

  
"Yien?" A sleepy voice groaned next to Mark.   
"hm?" He turned around to face the sleepy man next to him. This was not an unusual set up for him and his.. Jackson. At least every other week when Youngjae was out they would meet up, talk, drink and end up having sex. Mark didn't mind seeing the younger boy at all. He was falling in love with him and that was enough for him, not that he admitted it to himself.   
"It's been six months. Why don't you break up with him?"   
"Because.." Mark swallowed. He wanted to say that he loved Youngjae, that Mark didn't love Jackson, "I don't want to hurt him."   
"You know he'll get hurt anyway. You should just do it." Mark felt a twitch inside him, like the whole world was looking down at him, frowning.   
"Mh.. I should.. What time is it?"   
"2 am."   
"Why did you wake up?"   
"Your phone woke me up. Jaejae wants to know if you'll be staying the night at Jinyoung's. I told him that you will."   
"I'm sorry." Mark felt like the world had left him lying on the ground.   
"It's okay. Let's sleep." And it didn't take more than a few minutes for the blonde to start breathing evenly. It usually was very calming and Mark loved falling asleep next to the younger man but that night he din't sleep. He thought of Youngjae. 

 

Mark liked to take the subway from Jackson's to Jinyoung's so it looked like he was coming from the latter's place originally and the morning after Mark was walking home from a subway station near Jinyoung's place like he normally would when he realized something that would change his today's plans. He was wearing Jackson's hoodie instead of his own.   
"Pick up, pick up, pick uup.." Mark muttered as he was walking home in the already cold autumn air.   
"You have reached Park Jinyoung's Crisis Hotline. If you're Mark explain yourself. If you're someone else. Please leave a message." Jinyoung's voice came through the speaker on Mark's phone.   
"Damn it Jinyoung I'm about to tell Youngjae and I'm home in 15 minutes.. You better call me back asap." Mark hissed in the phone like Youngjae could hear him.   
Mark had just docked his phone away into his pocket when it started ringing.   
"Thank god Jinyoung!" Mark answered.   
"What. The fuck are you going to do?!" Jinyoung didn't exactly sound peaceful, but he never really did.   
"I'm going to break up with Youngjae." Mark tried to stay calm even though the thought scared the shit out of him.   
"What the fuck are you going to say to him? You can't exactly come home from your fuckbuddy's house just to tell your boyfriend that you're breaking up with him after 8 months of cheating on him." Mark wasn't really sure why Jinyoung was scolding him since he was the one who over 6 months ago started telling Mark to break up with Youngjae.   
"Jinyoung?"   
"What?!" Jinyoung was done with Mark's shit.   
"I'm wearing his hoodie."   
"Jackson's?"   
"yeah." right after Mark had confirmed that he indeed was wearing his fuckbuddy's hoodie he could hear Jinyoung start ranting at someone, "Jaebum can you believe this?! He is going to go and break up with Youngjae, you remember him right? WEARING HIS FUCKBUDDY'S CLOTHES!"   
"Jinyoung are you talking about my personal shit with the Nick Fury guy?"   
"Like you don't share my shit with Jackson." Jinyoung scoffed, "Anyway. You need to explain it all to Youngie. From the start to this day. But just leave out the amazing orgasms and how you were in love after the first kiss ok? Ok good. Now let me get back to my morning fuck."   
"What would I do without you?" Mark smiled.   
"Fuck up and not know how to fix the shit you fucked up. Bye now."   
"Bye, Jinyoung." Mark knew he was in trouble but honestly it was his own fault. If he would have told Jackson 8 months ago that he has a boyfriend he wouldn't be in this situation. No. He probably would be in this situation. That's how destiny works. 

 

Mark took a deep breath before pushing his keys into their flat's lock.   
"Youngjae?" Mark called out cautiously as he closed the door. The air didn't smell like home anymore, Jackson's scent was the smell of home but the air in his so called home   
No answer.   
Mark took off the hoodie that was covered in the scent of his home and stuck it into the sleeve of his denim jacket. It would be easier for Youngjae if he didn't show up wearing Jackson's hoodie.   
"Youngjae?" Mark knocked on their bedroom door.   
"Did you have fun at Jinyoung's?" Youngjae took the earphones off his head and made room for Mark in their bed. Mark made his way to the bed and sat down trying to breathe calmly, he was nervous.   
"Honey, what's wrong?" Youngjae seemed worried.   
"Youngjae, I need to talk to you.." Mark felt like he couldn't breath, like the sky was about to fall over him when in reality it was about to fall over the worried looking boy next to him.   
"What's this about?" The dark haired boy sounded calm which made Mark tense more.   
"I'm sorry.." Mark ran his hand through his dusty pink hair.   
"What did you do?"   
Mark didn't answer.   
"Mark, what did you do?" Youngjae's voice was demanding even though Mark could see the tears building up in the younger's eyes. He took a shaky breath and looked in Mark's dry eyes, "Did you cheat on me?"   
Mark nodded.   
"Was it a one night stand?"   
"No.." Mark answered barely audibly.   
"For how long?" A tear fell on Youngjae's cheek.   
"8 months."   
"W-with who? Jinyoung?" Youngjae was crying against Mark shoulder like he didn't want to let go.   
"No. He's with the Nick Fury guy, Jaebum from the Friday The 13th night." Mark's voice was shaky and he just wanted to push the younger off of him necause he knew what the boy in tears was about to ask.   
"Who then?"   
"The guy.." Mark took a deep breath, "The guy who you've seen coming out of our building.. The one you've thought was sleeping with Youngji."   
"Him? Wow.." Youngjae sounded broken, "Does he— does he love you?" He wiped his tears away.   
"I think so.." Mark choked on the feeling that was stuck in his throat.   
"That's good. I don't want you to get hurt because of some fuckboy made you think he was the one for you." Youngjae smiled a sad smile at Mark but they both knew Youngjae meant what he said. That just was how the younger worked. When he loved someone he wouldn't let them leave from his life just because they had fucked up. Youngjae would not get angry, he would not scream or shout. He would say that everything's going to be alright eventually and give a long supporting hug even when he was the one who got fucked over.   
"But hey at least we know he'll get a good beating from Jinyoung if he breaks your heart." Youngjae chuckled and moved a bit so he could properly hug his now ex-boyfriend who wasn't able to speak due to the choking feeling in his throat. 

"Are you ok?" Mark gagged out after a few minutes oh just staying there.   
"No. Not really."   
"Should you go stay at Bam's?"   
"And what? Tell him we broke up so he can come beat your unthankful ass?" Youngjae laughed the laugh Mark once thought was the only laugh he would want to hear for the rest of his life, "Honestly I think I'll call him and Gyeommie over so I can just eat and cry. I think you should leave before they come."   
"Good point." Mark got up from the bed to pack up something to wear. He didn't need a toothbrush or anything like that since Jackson had bought him all of those type of necessities.   
"Are you going to his?"   
"Jackson's? Yeah probably."   
"Is he nice?" Mark was surprised that Youngjae wanted to know if the guy Mark had fucked behing his back for 8 months was nice.   
"He is. He's really funny, kind and never runs out of things to talk about. He likes to read and he's really smart too. He studied at Stanford." Mark loved talking about Jackso—Mark loved Jackson and it was audible in his voice.   
"Did you ever talk about me like that?" Youngjae was about to cry again. 

 

That was the last time Mark said anything to Youngjae.


	2. Get Up Johnny Boy, Cause We All Need You Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 4 weeks after the break up.

It had been 4 weeks since Mark and Youngjae broke up, Mark and Jackson were now officially together and their honeymoon phase was painfully long, but something was off. Jinyoung had at first assumed that Youngjae had just moved on and that's why he nor Mark had heard from him. That of course was until Bambam, who truly hates Jinyoung called him.

"Have you seen Youngjae?" a shaky voice asked, no hello nor hi. Jinyoung scoffed in his head, he really didn't like Bambam either.  
"No. Not since Mark and him broke up." he said.  
"See the thing is, I saw him last 3 weeks ago when me and Yugyeom flew to Thailand to see my mom."  
"I really don't care. Bambam I have better things to do." Jinyoung sighed because he had better things to do, he was going on a date with Jaebum.  
"No no no you don't get it. He doesn't answer his phone nor door. We went to check. Do you have Mark's phone number? Could he be with him?" worry had started to build inside Jinyoung, was Youngjae okay? He hadn't even checked on him after his bestfriend broke up with him.  
"No, Mark hasn't seen him either."  
"Oh no.."  
"Could you call Mark? Ask him to come over to Youngjae's."  
"I can do that."  
Jinyoung heard a faint "thanks" before he disconnected the call. 

 

Mark was sitting on Jackson's kitchen floor staring at the pizza cooking in the oven when his phone rang.  
"Hey, Jinyoungie~" He answered cutely.  
"Mark do you know where Youngjae is??" Jinyoung's voice was thick with worry.  
"No? I don't really care either. Not tonight, It's date night." He chuckled.  
"I damn well know that it's date night, me and jaebum were going to-- well it doesn't matter. Bam called me. He doesn't know where Youngie is."  
"Seriously? Did he try his place?" Mark felt like his heart skipped a beat.  
"Yes but he didn't open his door. He and Yugyeom were in thailand or something."  
"Oh yeah I remember Yugyeom mentioning something like that sometime ago. Why did Bam call you?" Mark didn't really worry yet, it wasn't like Youngjae had ever been a danger to himself.  
"Because he doesn't have your number."  
"Why would he need my number?" Mark asked.  
"He wants you to go over to Youngjae's I think he's there too but I guess he needs your help."  
"Ok yeah um I'll go check out what's going on."  
"Call me."  
"I will." 

"Gaga?" Mark called for his boyfriend after taking the pizza out of the ovem.  
"Yes?" Jackson answered in the living room.  
"Could you come here?" Mark asked.  
"Wait a sec." Mark could see Jackson get up from the couch and walk over to him.  
"What's up?" he asked when he saw the slightly worried look on Mark's face.  
"Jinyoung-- he thinks there's something wrong with Youngjae. Bambam and Yugyeom can't find him.  
"Oh really?" Jackson's smile changed to a more serious look.  
"He wants me to go check on Bambam and Youngjae. At Youngjae's place."  
"Okay. I'll come with you. Bambam might just be luring you in so he can beat your ass." Jackson laughed.  
"Gaga that's not funny." Mark frowned.  
"I know, I know. I'm sorry. Grab your jacket I'll drive you there ok."  
"Thanks."

 

Jackson pulled over at the oh, so familiar apartment building. Mark hadn't been there since he moved to his new place around 3 weeks ago. Youngjae had been looking for new apartments too but like he had said to Mark when he and Jackson had come over to pack Mark's things, he hadn't found anything in his price range yet.  
Mark hopped out of the car and started making his way to Youngjae's apartment, Jackson trailing quietly behind him.  
Their-- Youngjae's apartment building was one of those old fashioned ones where you could just walk in but the modern part was that you didn't need a key to get in, just a four to six number door code.

"Hi bam." He greeted the thai boy standing next to Youngjae's door with a worried frown on his face.  
"Hey. I see you brought your.. whatever." Bambam glared at Jackson who was standing behind Mark like he had murdered his family or something.  
"Don't mind him. He just drove me."  
"Yeah whatever. Do you think Youngjae has changed the door code?"  
"I doubt that." Mark said as he tried the easiest possible code, 9396, their birth years, and not to his surprise the door opened.

The apartment was way too quiet. It wasn't normal. And it smelled.  
"Youngjae?" Bambam called for the boy, "Youngjae-hyung?"  
The three men started looking around the apartment trying to find Youngjae.

Mark walked into the living room, he could see piles of dishes and half eaten take out. Mark remembered once hearing that if something smells bad human's nose would get used to it and it would stop smelling so horibble, and Mark was looking forward to the moment when that kicked in.  
Mark picked up a piece of paper that was adressed to him, Bambam and Yugyeom, before reading any further Mark heard Jackson gasp in the bathroom and then shouting something in chinese, which caused Mark's heart to stop for a second.  
"Bambam call the fucking ambulance." He managed to choke out even before he made his way to the bathroom where he found his boyfriend pulling his ex-boyfriend out of a bathtub. The bathtub was red, the water was red. Why would the water be red? He thought before it hit him.  
Youngjae had tried to kill himself, succeeded even, Mark didn't know.  
He could hear Bambam gasping and bursting into tears, then seconds later being on the phone with the emergency dispatch.  
He could see the two boys trying to keep Youngjae alive, blood was everywhere, Youngjae's wrists were bleeding.  
Does that mean he's still alive?  
Everything around Mark was a blur, he could see and hear the paramedics barging in, checking Youngjae's vitals and taking him away.  
What's that sheet doing over him?  
He could feel Jackson wrapping his arm around him, he could hear chinese words whispered into his ear.  
Why is there blood on my hands? Mark couldn't remember helping Youngjae.  
Then, everything went black.

Silence.. Suddenly everything was quiet. He couldn't see Bambam, he just felt Jackson's gentle touch around him, rocking them back and forth. It was quite calm. 

"W-what?" Mark choked out, "Is h-he okay?"  
"Mark, I'm sorry." Jackson said. Now Mark could hear Bambam sobbing on the phone, probably with Yugyeom.  
"W-what do you mean?" Mark asked, his voice fragile and cold.  
"Jackson, What do you mean?!" Mark felt a tear roll down his cheek, he was crying, he knew what Jackson was bout to say. He knew why the water was red, why there was a white sheet over Youngjae when the the paramedics took him away. He also knew, that this all was his fault. He was the one who lied, the one who broke the younger's trust and with that caused all of this.  
Jackson's voice was thick with something Mark didn't recognize when he said the four words Mark feared the most at that moment,

"He didn't make it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1325 words of pure angst.
> 
> I AM SO SORRY FOR UPDATING THIS LATE but my dumb ass broke my phone(yes I write with my phone) and I lost the original version of this chapter BUT DON'T WORRY there was barely any changes.  
> Ah, I'm sorry for killing our baby Youngjae, but this isn't the end of it!


	3. Someone Said To You, "Goodbye."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The 3rd day after Youngjae's death.

The next few days after Youngjae's truly tragic death were horrible for all of them.  
Jackson felt a bit responsible, Mark blamed himself, Jinyoung thought he should've checked on the boy and Bambam and Yugyeom were mourning in their own peculiar way, getting wasted and fucking each other into the next week. And well, Jaebum was just trying to comfort Jinyoung the best he could but he really wasn't that amazing at it since he had never experienced something like his boyfriend just had. 

 

  
Mark had not read the letter, Youngaje's last goodbyes to him, yet, he didn't want to read it. Of course, he knew that at some point he would have to get over himself and read the things Youngjae wanted him to know. 

When Bambam had dropped the letter off at Jackson's place Mark had just brushed it off like it was nothing, like he would read it when Bambam left.  
"He doesn't blame you, you know.. Neither of you." He had said before closing the door behind him. Mark had just left the letter on the kitchen table and decided not to think about it just yet. 

 

The next day, or day 3 as Bambam had said on his newest blog post, after walking past the letter about ten billion times Jackson had had enough. He grabbed the letter and sat next to the moping boyfriend of his.  
"Mark." Jackson tried getting the boy's attention who was sleeping.. Faking to be asleep on the couch of his apartment.  
"Yi En!" He shook Mark's shoulder. The boy opened his eyes, made a show out of it like he would have been actually asleep.  
"What's up?" He asked groggily.  
"You need to read the letter."  
"B-"  
"No buts. You need to read it. You know he doesn't blame you. You need closure. I do too, I can't watch you like this. You barely eat, you haven't said a word since the day.. Mark I know you feel horrible. I do too. Remember, he was alive--" Mark started trembling, crying but Jackson kept going, "when I found him. If I would have checked the bathroom first he could be alive. Read the god damn letter and talk to me." Jackson's eyes were glossy and filled with tears but he knew he couldn't let the fall, he should be the strong one in all of this.  
Mark was crying, almost hysterically, he couldn't breathe. He hated Youngjae for doing this but most of all he hated himself for lying to him for almost a year. He felt Jackson wrap tightly around him, Jackson was warm, calm.. He loved Jackson and that made him feel even worse. His love for Jackson, his weak heart were the reason behind the situation they were currently in. His love for Jackson killed his childhood friend, best friend even. 

 

They sat there, Jackson whispering sweet nothings, ensuring Mark that everything was going to be fine into Mark's ear in Chinese for good thirty minutes before Mark reached for the letter that was now on the living room table.  
"I know I need to read it." He managed to say, his voice weak.  
"Do you want me to go somewhere? Give you some time?" Jackson asked gently.  
"No. Don't leave me. Stay here. Hold me." Mark muttered.  
"Are you sure?"  
"Yes." Mark whispered and pressed himself tightly against Jackson who pulled his hand around Mark like to assure the older that he was not going anywhere when Mark opened the letter. It was written by hand and you could see that Youngjae had been crying while writing it. 

 

"Dear Mark,  
When I knew that this was going to be it I almost called you. I had your number picked and I was about to click call when I remembered that you're not a knight in shining armor, you're not someone who's supposed to save me. In a way, I want to see you suffer(Bambam can elaborate on that haha) but I do still love you and my if my Mother taught me something it was that you're not supposed to hurt the people you love. Even though, she definitely wasn't good at following that. 

 

The First thing I want you to know is that I do not blame you. You have done nothing wrong. People's minds change and most of all people change. I've changed from who you fell in love with all those years ago and you've changed from the boy who I fell in love with. You've grown up, we both have but growing up has made me learn something important that played the biggest part in my decision to.. well, to die. I've learned that sometimes things don't get better. All the nights I spent crying to you about everything between the ground and the stars I never mentioned the one thing I probably should have had, but to be honest I never really thought you needed to know that I have no will to live.  
I would be lying if I would say that you weren't the one keeping me alive ever since the day I saw your bright smile and heard your giggle, do you remember that day? Jinyoung was teasing you about something silly and you laughed so loudly, well, giggled that I had to turn around to see who had such a beautiful laugh. I asked Yugyeom if he knew who you were and he just knew who Jinyoung was, they danced in the same group.. I was such a stalker back in school. Remember how I joined the group so I could get close to Jinyoungie so I could find out who you are.. That was such a long time ago.. Anyway, we aren't those people anymore, haven't been in a long time. 

 

The second thing I need you to know is that I want you to be happy. I want you and Jackson to be happy, do the things I never got to do, live for me. I know it must be hard right now. I understand that your relationship is very likely to make you feel like "fucking shit" like you would say but don't let my death effect you two. Don't pick fights with him just to push him away, he doesn't need that. I'mm sure Jackson is amazing because you surround yourself only with people you know will make you happy, as selfish as that makes you sound I believe it's a good thing because Tuan Yi En, you are the most beautiful person I have ever met. 

 

I'm not sorry for leaving you and rest of the guys. I'm not sorry for going like this. I have no reason to be because this is what I want, this is what ends my.. emptiness. So please do not spend the next weeks, months nor years mourning for a loss that was inevitable. Celebrate the things I have accomplished, the memories. Celebrate the things that were amazing and beautiful. We'll all meet again when the time is right. 

 

And Mark, remember that day we got together, Jimin's party? I want my funeral to be a celebration like ours was. Invite Yugyeom, Bambam, Jinyoung, the Nick Fury guy(Jaebum was his name, right?), Jimin and Jungkook.. And Jackson, he should be there for you.  
Bring booze, drink, laugh and have fun until the sun rises again and when that happens let my soul and ashes become one with the wind. 

 

Goodbye, Mark. 

 

I love you." 

 

The paper was now wet from Mark's tears, the ink was spilling. Mark placed it back on the table and pressed himself against Jackson's chest and started sobbing quietly.  
"Bam was right.. He doesn't blame us, he wants us to be happy. He wants us to live for him, whatever the fuck that then means." He sounded broken when really he was gaining his confidence back, he felt much better.  
"Do you know what he wants for his funeral? Jinyoung texted me and asked if you had read the letter and if it said anything about his last wishes."  
"Why didn't he text me?"  
"Don't you remember that you haven't been feeling too talkative in these last three days? He did but your phone is apparently off."  
"True.. I'll call him, Bambam and Yugyeom over.. If that's okay?"  
"Of course, it is." 

 

Just 45 minutes later, when Mark had cleaned up and made Jackson order him and the rest of the guys take-out, chicken, fried rice and dimsums they were all gathered around the small kitchen table eating and talking about how beautiful Youngjae had been.  
"Does he have a family though?" Jaebum asked. He had come as Jinyoung's support but he had also brought beer so everyone was more than fine with him coming over too. And if Jackson had noticed something during the few hours he had known the latter, he had noticed how he and Jaebum could be good friends one day.  
"Well, he has a mother." Bambam said.  
"None of us know where she is, maybe she still lives in Mokpo but we really don't even know if she cares enough to even try finding us." Yugyeom continued.  
"See, Youngjae's mother was an abusive drunk. Youngjae ran away when he was 14, he went to Busan and his mother didn't even notice. So when the school got concerned about him not coming to school in three weeks they contacted the social services and Youngjae was taken away. He lived with a surrogate family here in Seoul until he moved in with me." Mark explained while stuffing his mouth with chicken.  
"Oh wow." Both Jackson and Jaebum gasped at the same time.  
"He never really talked about the weeks he spent in Busan except.. Well, he met two guys there--" Mark continued only to get interrupted by Jinyoung.  
"Who are complete street rats by the way. Ice ones. But street rats anyhow."  
"Jinyoungie let me continue.. Anyway, the guys he met, Jimin and Jungkook. Youngjae talked about them a lot and often. They met up every once in a while and well they're his only friends from the time he didn't live in Seoul." Mark sipped his beer.  
"Weren't they the guys who he wanted to invite to his.. Celebration?" Jackson asked.  
"Yeah. I'll call them up tomorrow. We'll travel to Busan next weekend, have a little fun by the sea."  
"All of us?" Jaebum asked.  
"Yeah." Yugyeom said. 

 

The next weekend would be amazing, Jaebum promised to ask his friend Namjoon to lend him his minibus so all of them could fit in the car comfortably for the 4 hour drive and they would celebrate Youngjae's life and their futures and everything that they would feel like celebrating that night, just like Youngjae would have wanted them to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing Youngjae's suicide note was the most difficult thing I've ever written.  
> Do you guys like the idea of Youngjae being celebrated instead of mourned?  
> I know some of you probably want bot Mark and Jackson to burn in the hottest pits of hell but remember, that's not what Youngjae would want. 
> 
> OH AND kudos to me for updating this faster than last time haha.


End file.
